


Her

by dksooxii



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 16:22:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17881154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dksooxii/pseuds/dksooxii
Summary: To free myself means to let go of you.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! There are no names in this but I imagine Wendy and Irene in this story of mine. It's up to you to determine who is who hehe Plz rid me mwah~!

"I saw her again today."

I was lying in bed, watching his every move. The eggs in the pan are starting to pop indicating it's cooked already. "Did you talk to her?"

I shook my head, sitting up I answered, "I wasn't planning to but she came up to me. We talked for a while and the only thing I can remember was that she wishes for a world where people won't have to ask why she used a certain pronoun in her story."

"She was unique."

"Yeah."

"Do you really not know her?"

"No."

He looked at me again, "Or you just can't remember her?"

"Why would I not know her? I remember everyone. Well, almost everyone."

He pursed his lips and was about to say something but decided not to.

The eggs are calming down from their popping, my ears are used to it by now. I laid down again.

"I know you."

The first words she said to me the moment our eyes met at a store downtown.

"I know you." She repeated, like saying it again will make me understand.

"But I don't--"

"I know you."

The moment she said those words again, something came over me. The next time I opened my eyes I was in a hallway.

I wandered my sight and for a moment I can see some people in school uniform talking, I looked down and saw that I was wearing the same clothes as them. When I lifted my head I saw someone walking towards me. She was happy. And I am, too. I know I'm feeling happy. Her face almost came to view when I was woken up by a voice.

"Are you alright?"

That was my first encounter with her.

Or so I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

The next encounter with her was a bit pleasant.

I was buying waffles in front of our university when the bell chimed. I turned my head and stopped when I saw her.

"I saw her again today."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. She was wearing a black shirt with The Script's logo. She was carrying a book, The Happiness Project, and told me that it took her a long time looking for it."

"Mm."

She went over to the counter, eyes still locked. It broke when she told the cashier what she'll buy.

"Whatever she's having." She said.

I was still staring, awed at the presence before me, but I can't keep doing that so I asked, "I'm sorry but what happened the first time I saw you?"

"What?"

The sound of a clicking pen caught my attention.

I looked at the walls around me, "Why is everything in your room white?"

"It's not my room. It's yours."

Oh.

I looked at him. "Why didn't she know I passed out?"

"Do we have to go through this again?"

"What's wrong? I was just asking." I said and laid down again.

Her eyes were confused. "Anyways, you read books?"

"Yeah."

"Here's your order."

I took mine and minutes later, hers was served. I don't know why but it feels like our bodies are linked together.

"You see I was looking for this book and happened to see this one."

She gave me a John Green.

"It's a good book. So good that it's banned in libraries."

I read the title in my head, "Looking for Alaska."

"You're good at picking delicious food."

"I think... I think I eat anything."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but mostly breakfast foods. Eggs and hotdogs are my favorite." I said while looking intently at my waffle.

"I think... I think I like you."

Our next meetings always seemed longer than the last.


	3. Chapter 3

"That friends of your's really pretty."

"Who?"

"That one over there with a boy cut."

"Oh yeah. Good eye."

Our popsicles are starting to melt. We can't lick it continuously because we keep on talking to each other, we only stopped when I noticed it stained her white uniform.

I took some wipes and dabbed it on her shirt. She was looking at me, slightly blushing, I guess.

"From now on, I'd spill everything on my clothes."

I grinned then it turned into a wide smile.

"Don't be silly."

We went to our classroom together with some of our classmates. My pen dropped the moment I sat and when I stood up I am in my bed.

"What did you drop?" He asked while entering the room.

I looked around but can't seem to find what I was looking for.

"What pen?"

I looked at him. I must've said it out loud.

"Did you give her a pen?" He asked the woman beside her. She shook her head.

"No, I have a pen. I have it in my hand." I said. Something was starting to rise up in me.

Anger? Frustration? I don't know but deep down I know it's not the pen I was looking for.

"Go to sleep." The woman beside him caressed my hair and I felt dizzy.

"I saw her again today." I told him the next day.

"What's she doing?"

We had a project. A watercolor painting of some sort. She wiped her brush on my arm, causing the paint to smudge on my skin. We both laughed and I did the same to her face. All I remember were her smiles and the way her brows met when I said something.

"Well, tell me when society start to accept us."

She looked at me seriously. It's the first time I saw those eyes. Annoyed, angry, and sad.

"Don't cry. Keep yourself calm."

"I shouldn't have said it."

I heard some eggs popping.

"Why do you like to cook eggs?"

"Because breakfast food is your favorite."

"Hm."

I laid down.


	4. Chapter 4

"How are you today?"

"Perfect."

"What happened?" He said while writing something

I smiled widely and answered the obvious, "I saw her again today."

"Okay, and what is she doing?"

I stretched my arms and closed my eyes.

I still remember her smiling so widely as she was walking towards me. She's carrying something, when she came near me, I grinned.

"Really?"

She nodded, the grin still on her face.

"Why?"

"I know you."

"What does that have to do with this?"

"I know you."

He stopped writing. "Is that what she always say to you? I know you?"

I opened my eyes, "Yeah, and what's weird is that's what she said to me the first time we met, right? 'I know you'."

"What are you thinking?"

I looked at him but I saw her face.

"I'm thinking about us. What's going to happen to us?"

The screeching of tires can be heard somewhere. I whipped my head at the direction of the sound.

"What is it?"

When I turned, his face is what I saw.

"A car."

He stood up.

"Get some rest."

I laid down.

"Why do you think they made bookmarks?"

"What a dumb question."

"Don't be annoyed. I was just going to give you this."

I took her hand slowly. We were sitting in our school's park. She's reading a book and is kind of annoyed and I don't know why.

She let me take her hand causing her to read the open book with just her right hand. I placed the bookmark as quietly as possible I can. I was about to put her hand down when she took it, and smiled.

"Are you alright?"

I was blinded by a bright light, I closed my eyes then went to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

I dreamt about her.

We were driving in an isolated avenue. Only the headlights of our car is to be seen. She doesn't seem to mind. So I didn't, too.

"You can go out today, you know." He gave me something.

"Money? Where should I go?"

"Downtown."

I know the way downtown. It's just that everytime he tells me to go there I'm not seeing what I want to see. There's no stores and it looks just like a foodcourt, to put it simply, it IS a foodcourt.

"Hey!"

Someone tapped my shoulder. I furrowed my brows.

"Who are you?"

"You don't remember me?" She said feeling a bit disappointed.

"I'm sorry but, I don't."

A woman came rushing inside, "Here you are. Who are you talking to?"

I wondered who this woman is, must be this girl's mom or something.

But she didn't look at the woman behind me, she grabbed my hand instead and dragged me into this long hallway.

We were suddenly in a garden, squatting behind the tall bushes. We both tried to pant quietly because the woman is looking for us. I got confused when she gave up easily.

"Thank goodness." She whispered huffing.

I looked at her, I know her face... I have seen it somewhere...

"Who are you?"

She jumped a little, "Jesus, keep your voice down."

I am starting to get annoyed and I know she can tell.

"I'm your friend. We used to meet up here when you don't want to meet with him."

"Him?"

"Him." She pointed the bracelet in my right wrist, "We both don't like him and this is the only time I got to escape. We haven't talked in a year, do you really not know me?"

I am still lost but I answered her anyway, "I remember everyone. Well, almost everyone."

"You... Said that before..." She frowned, "Are you still sick?"

"Who's sick?"

"You are. You tend to forget things easily."

"No, I don't."

"Put your seatbelt on."

I looked at her, "Did you say that?"

"Said what?" She looked around, "Anyways, it's a bit sad that you don't remember me. Or you won't... Ever. I just hope you'll get better."

She squeezed my forearm and walked towards the door.

I stood up, but when I blinked I am sitting inside the classroom again. This time the person coming towards me has a face. She gave me a pen and asked if I like popsicles or ice cream.

I answered popsicles and she smiled.


	6. Chapter 6

"Come to my dorm. It's Friday, you can go home tomorrow." She said while we were sitting in front of our classroom. Our school doesn't have a lobby and it's kind of annoying.

It does but it's not enough for a lot of people.

"Why?"

"Just because."

"Okay."

The classes resumed and we went to her dorm together. I told my mom where I am going and where I'd sleep.

"Well, she can't do anything about it since you're here already."

I laughed.

"How do you like your eggs, scrambled badly or undercooked?"

I laughed again, "Sit, I'll do it since I'm the visitor."

She let me but she's still standing behind me. Watching everything, tracing my movements with her eyes.

I put the pan down, "Stop it."

I looked at her to see a face inches away from mine.

First things are always the best.

I went home the next day. When I woke up, he was already in my room, arranging my curtains.

"How are you? Do you remember anything yesterday?"

"Yeah, I saw her again."

"Tell me what happened."

I told him about the eggs but not the thing that happened after that.

He nodded and said something that I think I won't forget, "We remember the things we want to remember. Just try your best, okay?"

I nodded. A woman came in and gave me some medicines.

"Who is she?" I asked.

They both looked at each other, about to answer but then I passed out.

"Are you alright?" She asked me the moment I opened my eyes, "You passed out. Goddammit why won't you ever eat anything? Do I really have to tell you that eating is a necessity?!"

My mom is in front of me, "I'm confused."

"Stand up if you can. I'm telling you to eat because I care for you. You don't have to let other people's opinion get to you like that."

"I love you, mom."

I am crying nonstop. I started to throw things and pulled the needle in my right arm, pushed back the blanket and went straight to the deserted hallway.

I stopped when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hey! I see you can see me again."

I looked around, "Are you..."

"Yes, I'm talking to you."

"What's your name?" I asked.

She just laughed.

"Let's talk for a while."

I said something but I wasn't sure if it was really me. She looked at me.

"Go back to your room."

She was slowly getting dragged away and turned her head but when I looked at her reflection, I am the one getting dragged.

I laid down and slept.


	7. Chapter 7

"What for? I won't remember it anyway."

He lifted his stare and is a bit confused, "What did you just say? You won't-"

"I said I won't remember it anyway." I said, shrugging. I started to eat my breakfast excitedly because it's my favorite type of food.

"Are you alright? Did you see someone today?" He asked.

"How would I be able to see someone today? I'm in this freaking room the whole time."

He opened his mouth but closed it. He stood up, worry evident in his eyes, "Have a rest, okay?" Then went out.

Why does he worry about me when this is the first day I've been here?

How did I get here in the first place?

After eating, I started to read some magazines at my bedside table just to pass time.

I went out of my room and saw nobody outside, I then went to explore the place I am in.

When I stepped into the garden, I saw some children playing so I went to them.

"Hi!" They beamed at me.

"Hello. How old are you kids?"

"I'm 10 and they're both 7 years old, miss."

I nodded my head.

"How about you?"

"Hm?"

"How old are you?"

I furrowed my brows, "I think I'm... 22?"

As far as I am aware, that's my age. Even though I don't remember a thing since...

"Are you okay, miss?"

I looked at them, "Y-yeah..."

What happened to me? How did I get here and who brought me here?

I begin to hear some faint words.

"Don't go out today."

"Come with me."

"I don't wanna. I've got a lot of reading to do."

"Come with me."

My knees went wobbly but I still tried to stand up.

"Just downtown, then. I'm going to buy breakfast."

She's dead.


	8. Chapter 8

Everything went black for a second. The moment my vision came back I saw her face fully this time.

It's her. She's coming towards me but she doesn't seem to notice me.

"What's she doing?"

I looked to my left and saw my friend. She didin't seem to mind my hospital gown. It's like she's not seeing the present me.

"I don't know." The words came out naturally.

"What happened? Why are you sad?"

"I saw her again today." My heart hurt and I started to pound it with my fist.

"I saw her again today. But she's with someone."

Tears are starting to come down.

The words 'I think I like you' keep on ringing in my ears.

I looked at her again. She's laughing but not the way I can make her.

"I think she doesn't want to be with you because you can't accept who you really are."

"I'm being haunted."

I looked at the person before me, he's listening intently.

"Why?"

"I... I didn't fight for her. I left her out in the dark. That's why she went with someone else. But what she doesn't know is I adore her up to the point that I'd ignore every belief I believe in just to be with her."

I am shaking badly.

"Let's go buy some eggs."

"You part ways that's what you told me."

My mind's everywhere. I can't seem to focus on the present.

"You met again two years ago and rekindled that lost love. But then tragedy happened and..."

I closed my eyes tightly to stop the tears from coming down.

But it did no good. Instead, it took me back two years ago. The day we met again.

We locked eyes and she said, "I know you." Like she's been saving those words just for me.

We both smiled and had coffee together.

First times are always the best.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is the last chapter, more notes at the end! :)

I tried to calm down but then I remembered the accident. How it hurt physically and emotionally.

When will I ever accept the truth she's gone and it's because of me?

My heart almost stopped at the realization. I am in here because she's gone. And I was admitted to this hospital because I am mentally unstable.

That was about a year ago.

I started to throw things. The man in front of me called for some people. I was panicking so I locked my door but they were stronger. A lot of people came rushing inside. They were trying to keep me calm.

"It'll be over soon," he looked at me and smiled encouragingly.

Someone must've shot me a sleeping dose because I dozed off after a while.

"What happened to you?"

I slowly opened my eyes and saw someone.

I rubbed my eyes to clearly see who's in front of me.

"Are you...?"

"Yes."

She raised her hand holding a bracelet.

My bracelet.

The person standing in front of me is... Me.

Well more like my conscience. Confusing but yes, it's me.

"Thank goodness. You're now aware I waited a year for this, right?"

I started to cry. She wiped the tears streaming down and shushed me.

I looked again and I saw her.

"Stop crying."

Instead of trying to stop, I did the opposite.

"I can't."

I covered my face with my hands and when I removed it I am inside my room again.

He stared and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"I do remember something... You always cooked eggs."

"It's not me. It's your hallucinations. You always called our cafeteria as 'downtown'. We happened to have a conversation like this the first time you came here."

"Is she really... Gone?"

He pursed his lips.

My mind started to wander again.

"It's going to be okay." She smiled sadly, "I'm not haunting you, I'm just here to guide your old self out. Please take care of yourself."

"This will never end."

"I know. But try."

"I can't. I won't."

She brushed my hair gently, "I love you." She whispered and I whispered it back.

I slept peacefully.

When I woke up I saw someone sitting in front of me.

"Why aren't you cooking eggs today?"

He smiled sadly and sighed. I laid down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed that short ride~! Thank you for reading~! <3


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